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TED 原某某 | 致孤独的你： 你的孤独并不孤单！

演讲标题： You are not alone in your loneliness

讲者： Jonny Sun

Hello. I'd like to introduce you to someone. This is Jomny. That's "Jonny" but spelled accidentally with an "m," in case you were wondering, because we're not all perfect.

大家好。 我要给你们介绍一个人。 这是 Jomny 。 我解释一下，应该叫"Jonny" ， 但是"n"

不小心拼成了"m" ， 人无完人嘛。

Jomny is an alien who has been sent to earth with a mission to study humans. Jomny is feeling lost and alone and far from home, and I think we've all felt this way. Or, at least I have. I wrote this story about this alien at a moment in my life when I was feeling particularly alien. I had just moved to Cambridge and started my doctoral program at MIT, and I was feeling intimidated and isolated and very much like I didn't belong.

Jomny 是外星人。 他被送到地球研究人类。 他远离家乡， 又孤独又彷徨。 这种感觉大家 都不陌生吧。 至少， 对我来说并不陌生。 曾有一段时间， 我感觉自己就像个外星人， 于 是写下了这个外星人的故事。 那时我才搬到剑桥， 刚开始我的 MIT 博士课程， 感觉势单 力薄、孤立无援， 觉得自己不属于那里。

But I had a lifeline of sorts. See, I was writing jokes for years and years and sharing them on social media, and I found that I was turning to doing this more and more.

但我有一些自救方法。 那时我已经连续多年 在社交网络上分享我编的笑话， 而且随着孤

独感的增加， 我分享的笑话越来越多。

Now, for many people, the internet can feel like a lonely place. It can feel like this, a big, endless, expansive void where you can constantly call out to it but no one's ever listening. But I actually found a comfort in speaking out to the void. I found, in sharing my feelings with the void, eventually the void started to speak back. And it turns out that the void isn't this endless lonely expanse at all, but instead it's full of all sorts of other people, also staring out into it and also wanting to be heard. Now, there have been many bad things that have come from social media. I'm not trying to dispute that at all. To be online at any given point is to feel so much sadness and anger and violence. It can feel like the end of the world. Yet, at the sametime, I'm conflicted because I can't deny the fact that so many of my closest friends are people that I had met originally online. And I think that's partly because there's this confessional nature to social media. It can feel like you are writing in this personal, intimate diary that's completely private, yet at the same time you want everyone in the world to read it. And I think part of that, the joy of that is that we get to experience things from perspectives from people who are completely different from ourselves, and sometimes that's a nice thing.

我知道对很多人而言， 网络是个孤独的地方。 就像这里一样， 宽广、无穷的一片空虚。 你可以在这里大声呼喊， 但没人听到。 但我在向空虚说话之后， 找到了慰藉。 我发现， 向空虚分享我的感觉以后， 我得到了空虚的回应。 我发现这片空虚， 其实并非无穷孤寂 的空间， 而是充满着不同的人， 这些人也在望着这片空虚， 并且希望自己的心声得到回 应。 确实， 社交网络上充斥着不良信息。 这一点我无法否认。 网络时时刻刻 让我们感觉

到无比的悲伤、愤怒和暴力。有时，感觉就像世界末日。但同时， 我也很矛盾，因为我也无法否认，我许多特别亲近的朋友，都是通过网络认识的。我觉得其中一部分原因，是社交网络的自白属性。在网络写非常私人、亲密的日记，可以是完全隐私的，但同时你又希望全世界的人都能读到。我认为，在其中有一些乐趣，那就是我们可以从跟自己完全不同的人的视角,去体验，而有些时候，这种体验是好的。

For example, when I first joined Twitter, I found that so many of the people that I was following were talking about mental health and going to therapy in ways that had none of the stigma that they often do when we talk about these issues in person. Through them, the conversation around mental health was normalized, and they helped me realize that going to therapy was something that would help me as well.

比如， 我最初加入推特时， 发现很多我关注的人， 都在探讨心理健康、心理咨询， 而他 们在网上的探讨， 往往没有面对面探讨 面临的种种困难。 通过他们， 关于心理健康的 话 题变得正常， 他们也帮我认识到， 咨询心理医生也可以帮助到我。

Now, for many people, it sounds like a scary idea to be talking about all these topics so publicly and so openly on the internet. I feel like a lot of people think that it is a big, scary thing to be online if you're not already perfectly and fully formed. But I think the internet can be actually a great place to not know, and I think we can treat that with excitement, because tome there's something important about sharing your imperfections and your insecurities and your vulnerabilities with other people. 我知道对许多人来说， 在网络上公开、毫不保留地 探讨这些话题 想想就很恐怖。 许多人 认为， 如果你本身 不是一个完美、健全的人， 那在网上就是一件 很恐怖的事情。 但我认 为， 网络上的 这种未知是好的， 我们可以用一种 新奇的心态看待它， 因为对我来说， 分 享自己的不完美是重要的， 和他人分享自己的不安和脆弱， 也是必要的。

Now, when someone shares that they feel sad or afraid or alone, for example, it actually makes me feel less alone, not by getting rid of any of my loneliness but by showing me that I am not alone in feeling lonely. And as awriter and as an artist, I care very much about making this comfort of being vulnerable a communal thing, something that we can share with each other. I'm excited about externalizing the internal, about taking those invisible personal feelings that I don't have words for, holding them to the light, putting words to them, and then sharing them with other people in the hopes that it might help them find words to find their feelings as well.

当他人分享他们的悲伤、害怕， 或是孤独的时候， 这其实让我感觉没有那么孤单了。 他 们没有让我摆脱 孤独的状态， 却让我认识到， 我的孤独并不孤单。 作为一个作家、艺术 家， 我很重视让人们能够一起、 无所顾虑地向他人 分享自己的脆弱。 让我激动的是， 将 内在的东西外化， 将我不能用言语表达 的无形的情感， 公之于众， 为它们赋予文字， 并 且和他人分享， 希望它们能为他人 的情感赋予文字。

Now, I know that sounds like a big thing, but ultimately I'm interested in putting all these things into small, approachable packages, because when we can hide them into these smaller pieces, I think they are easier to approach, I think they're more fun. I think they can more easily help us see our shared humanness. Sometimes that takes the form of a short story, sometimes that takes the form of a cute book of illustrations, for example. And sometimes that takes the form of a silly joke that I'll throw on the internet. For example, a few months ago, I posted this app idea for a dog-walking

service where a dog shows up at your door and you have to get out of the house and go for a walk. 我知道这些话很大， 但我最终感兴趣的是把这些大事， 分成小而易懂的小事， 因为我们 可以 把大事隐藏在小事里， 这样就更方便理解， 也更有趣。 这种方式很容易帮助我们 看 到我们共同的人性。 有时这些小事， 以故事的形式呈现， 有时是可爱的插画书。 有时它 们是 我网上发布的傻乎乎的笑话。 举个例子，几个月前， 我提出了一个新应用的提议： 遛狗服务， 狗来到你家门前， 你必须出门遛狗， 顺便散散步。

If there are app developers in the audience, please find me after the talk.

如果现场有应用开发人员，等会儿我们可以聊一聊。

Or, I like to share everytime I feel anxious about sending an email. When I sign my emails "Best," it's short for "I am trying my best," which is short for "Please don't hate me, I promise I'm trying my best!"

再举个例子， 我会分享每次我发邮件的焦虑。 邮件落款“最好的(best)” ， 指的是“我尽了最

好的努力” ，全称是“千万别恨我， 我真的尽了最大的努力！?

Or my answer to the classic icebreaker, if I could have dinner with anyone, dead or alive, I would. I am very lonely.

再比如， 我对一个经典问题的回答： 如果我可以和任何一个人吃饭， 不管活人还是死人， 我都愿意， 我太孤单了。

And I find that when I post things like these online, the reaction is very similar. People come together to share a laugh, to share in that feeling, and then to disburse just as quickly.

我发现，把这些笑话 在网上发布以后， 得到的回应大体相同。 人们聚到一起，分享快乐，

分享感情， 然后快速消失。

Yes, leaving me once again alone. But I think sometimes these little gatherings can be quite meaningful.

对，我又孤单一人了。 不过我认为这些小型聚会 是非常有意义的。

For example, when I graduated from architecture school and I moved to Cambridge, I posted this question: "How many people in your life have you already had your last conversation with?" And I was thinking about my own friends who had moved away to different cities and different countries, even, and how hard it would be forme to keep in touch with them. But other people started replying and sharing their own experiences. Somebody talked about a family member they had a falling out with. Someone talked about a loved one who had passed away quickly and unexpectedly. Someone else talked about their friends from school who had moved away as well. But then something really nice started happening. Instead of just replying tome, people started replying to each other, and they started to talk to each other and share their own experiences and comfort each other and encourage each other to reach out to that friend that they hadn't spoken to in a while or that family member that they had a falling out with. And eventually, we got this little tiny microcommunity. It felt like this support group formed of all sorts of people coming together. And I think every time we post online, ever 内容过长，仅展示头部和尾部部分文字预览，全文请查看图片预览。 d hands.

有一天晚上，我感到特别难过， 对世界无比失望， 我对着网络的虚无、 孤独的黑暗大喊：? 现在这个时候上社交网络，就好像在世界尽头 握着一个人的手。” 这次回应我的不是空虚， 而是网络上的人们， 他们回复我， 并且彼此交谈， 渐渐地， 这个小社区形成了。 每个人 在一起手拉手。

And in these dangerous and unsure times, in the midst of it all, I think the thing that we have to hold on to is other people. And I know that is a small thing made up of small moments, but I think it is one tiny, tiny sliver of light in all the darkness.

当我们深处生命中 危险、迷茫的时刻， 我觉得，我们需要拉着别人的手。 我知道这是短

小的时刻、 微小的举动， 但我认为这是无尽黑暗中的 一丝小小的曙光。

Thankyou.

谢谢。

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